Miss Placed Title

This doesnt have a title because it doesnt have just have one things I'm talking about.
I first sit here sore, realizing I have wasted a week away, not becuase I'm stuck to a couch because I had surgery, (which I am, but not the point). I have been sitting here watching tv, movies, going on myspace, and chating online. Only in the past 2 days have I actually done something. I finally worked on a logo for a company, I got up and walk around outside, and today I started really getting into The Hobbit and I got; a photoshop cs2, a flash mx book, and I found my illustrator 10 book. But for the last week I have done nothing, I could have read the bible, learned some more, edited some videos. The other week Sara (forced) made me make pray cards, I didnt see a point to them, I still kind of don't because I don't work that way. But I wrote on there for one thing is Time Management, I was thinking at the time that I was getting busy and need to get priorities set and manage those times that I have. But this week I see it in a new light. Why do I sit at the computer watching movie and going on things like myspace, when I could enlighten myself with a new study in something like a book of the bible or something.
My second thing is well my future. I'm graduated, I need a job, I need to pay of my parents, get a car, build a new computer, help pay for college, pay for random things, get cloths, buy a new video camera, upgrade the mac(g4), I would like to get an ipod, I need to pay for plane tickets if Sara and I stay together to see each other and I need cash for cash. I just think of the near future, just looking for those jobs, traveling, and relationships. Moving to Florida with Adam, going to college. College, its not a normal college, I'm going to get my bacherlors degree in 22 months, that about 30 credits every 11 months. I dont know how I'm going to handle this. Also just living with Adam, how thats going to work, being on my own, having to do everything, no one to fall back on, its going to be insane. I think of trying to find time and money to see Sara and/or just talk to her on the phone. I think of afterwards the far future, the moving back or going to boston or philly or something. I just dont know. Time will tell, but when is it going to tell.
I'm actually scared for everything... I'm never scared, but I'm getting there.
I just don't know.