may it be

Enya is singing a song from the lord of the rings. With her Celtic vocals and orchestrated musical filling in the background, the body just becomes at peace. it relaxes and is set into a short term hibernation. yet i sit here at 2am with some of the most calming music ever playing and find myself completely awake. i've been so used to having a place to run to and get away from my problems, a person to meet with and talk too, an event that was happening to distract the world. Yet now i find myself lacking these opportunity. im in a foreign land where im a stranger, im called a thick blood and a Yankee, i don't shiver when the temps get "cold" and the wind hallows through the streets. im a bull in a china shop. At the same time im slowing becoming cold as the evenings draw closer and starting to get a group of friends that i can call and hang out with and they know me by name and by face. im one of the first to be called and not a friend calling a friend that im hanging out with event now (if that even made sense). im not typing this to complain or anything, its just strange to think, only 2 months ago i was a complete stranger to this land, i had completely no friends i knew 2 peoples name in this entire state and now i have a group that i hang out with and do things with. BUT IS IT ALL FOR NOT? in 2 years i will have moved back to Michigan or the east coast to start my career, i will have completed my degree and be working and in the cold weather again, all to start over, met new people, buy a house, get a store front, and begin my new life. how many people do i know down here that i will keep in touch with. how many of them will i take the time and money to go see or visa versa. its an emptying thought. realizing the time and effort put in remembering peoples names and faces, learning where they are from and what they are doing here, figuring out their dislikes and likes, pet peeves and habits, remembering streets and houses, the cars they drive and what they named them. is it all for not? for in 2 years i will have left. how many people will i know? how many will i remember? how many will remember me? is it worth even trying? is it worth even worrying? is it worth wait to see?
people from church, school, parties, random happenings, and just life; will have all faded into nothing or become a vivid part of my life. but i dont know which one. its all just thoughts that i have been having lately.